Jupiter is closer than Saturn

I am wondering whether I should talk about this again. It seems personal and not very fiber-related.

When I found the *LSG Spinning group on Ravelry, I was interested because there seemed to be less of the newbie repetition and the G part of the name of the group would put off those smarmy women who think the only jobs women can ever have are being a housewife and mother. [*Lazy Stupid Godless]

There was something that went around and I PM’d someone who then mentioned there was a “local” LSG knitters group. It is “Bay Area” but 95% of all activities take place in areas the BART does not go. [Of course, some of that is a BART failing since south bay should be considered part of the Bay Area; San Jose has the largest population and its surrounding satellite towns have a lot of the jobs. There really was no excuse for not having public transit that goes all the way around the Bay.]  Now since I do not usually take public transit, this is not a huge deal, theoretically, but in practice the only places far from BART all require at least an hour of driving. I refer to most of south bay as “orbiting Saturn” to explain why I never go there.

Recently someone set up an excursion in Berkeley. There is no parking in Berkeley. Except for the parts of Berkeley that are worse crime-wise than the reputation that Oakland has of being the murder capital of the country. Still, it is not a spinning thing, so I would only need a small bag of knitting to fit in, and I could get a ride or something.

Then I realized where they were holding it. Realized beyond the logistics. Jupiter is a campus bar.

Several people have posted in the thread saying how much beer they are going to drink. One of them lives hours from Berkeley and will definitely be driving.  I refuse to attend events where people publicly admit they will be drinking and then driving. Sure, if an average size person has one beer with food and then socializes for an hour, it is not going to be illegal. That means it is a peeve and I should just quietly not attend.

I drink alcohol. I am almost 40 and I am an adult without addiction problems. But why would I want to go out drinking with strangers? Why would I want to knit under the influence? It just seems like a bar is one of the worst choices.

Add in the campus adjective prefacing bar and I was left thinking these people must all be under 25, tattooed, pierced, and basically pretending they are not grown up yet. It would be a repeat of Yarn School (may it rot in the lava-blasted netherworld).

I unsubscribed from the group. I am not going to south bay. I do not want to go drinking. Obviously this group has nothing to offer me. I am still reading the LSG spinning group though.

Someone recently invited me to the Knit-One-One spinning group. So I went through the thread. It is an expensive group meeting, $8 per night. But again, I was really put off because 3 people specifically mention that they are bringing wine. I went the first night they did it, and everyone there seemed to know each other and they all seemed to be spinning the same fiber from the same vendor—- who does not actually exist in real life- even though she is local, you must buy online! and the prices are horrible— it was already its own little club and it was quite clear they did not want anyone else.  My major problem with it was that the chairs were too high. My feet did not hit the ground. It was hard to treadle my wheel. But they had more bottles of wine than there were people.

I want to be more social. I think I would enjoy spinning with other people. But then I remember that I do not usually like other fiber people. There are the mommies with their “Thou shalt only make things for babies!” attitudes who say it is [immoral] to make things for yourself when there are children who do not have coats for winter. There are the pierced and tattooed people who seem to run to poverty and their attitude that you should not buy nice things while there are poor people who have much greater needs. I just do not understand either of these extremes. I do not have children. I give generously to charities I support. Other people’s children suffering is really not my problem. Societally there is a problem, yes, but my solution is universal contraception. [And that is “immoral” too, someone actually said contraception is the same as genocide!] I know there are people who are poorer than I am. But a shocking number of them buy alcohol in bars and then get on my back because I bought 2 ounces of cashmere for myself. I do not go around buying myself things randomly, but if I find something I really want and it costs less than $20, I am going to buy it. I can afford this because I do not waste my money drinking in bars.

I am happy enough letting other people live their lives and quietly not attending events where people exhibit choices that do not fit with my expectations. But no one else ever is toward mine.  And the more alcohol they drink, the more I feel like the whipping boy.